31 May 2006

"Celebrity" update

Oooh, so close! We had a Baywatch "star" but it was not David Hasselhoff. And boy did I feel stupid when Paul had to correct me after I confused Tim Meadows (of SNL fame) for Tim Reid (of WKRP fame). Tonight's Game Show Marathon episode was The Price Is Right (TPIR for you hard core fans). There was even a home appliance has-been on the show--the Salad Shooter.

Speaking of bygone celebrities, I think the only way you could be a Gen-Xer and solve 57-across (Bombay-born dancer Juliet) in this week's New York Times Sunday crossword was if you watched Love Boat as a youngster. I'm sure you all remember Juliet PROWSE--the leggy passenger who was able to wrangle a wedding ring out of Doc, the ship's womanizer. I'm surprised the Screen Actor's Guild hasn't insisted that a show like Love Boat remain on the air in perpetuity. How else are washed-up actors supposed to make a living? Other than appearing on American Idol and Game Show Marathon that is.

TV

I’m going to miss Katie Couric. Not just because I liked her as co-anchor of the Today Show, but because—and I hope this doesn’t sound too inane—it was nice to see a middle-aged woman who is cute, fun, and youthful. Something to aspire to for someone approaching that stage in her life.

Am I the only one who’s curious about tonight’s "Game Show Marathon" on CBS? They keep talking up "your favorite celebrities," but the only ones I’ve seen on the commercials are Leslie Nielsen and Paige who does some decorating show on cable. I’d be curious to see who else was desperate enough to sign on. Maybe David Hasselhoff will make an appearance!

30 May 2006

Cinquains de Mayo

Two of us are suffering from writer's block tonight. Katherine has a good excuse though. She has to write two poems in a particularly sadistic verse form called the "cinquain." Here is the structure:

Line 1 - one word of two syllables (may be the title)
Line 2 - four syllables describing the subject or title
Line 3 - six syllables showing action
Line 4 - eight syllables expressing a feeling or observation about the subject
Line 5 - two syllables describing or renaming the subject

Yawn. I'm not sure why her teacher thought this would be an appropriate or meaningful exercise for third-graders. And I'm not sure why I thought this would be an appropriate or meaningful post for my readers. I will leave you with this awesome haiku poem that I wrote at age 10. It was published in the school district's elementary literary magazine, Salamander Soup.

Oh! Nightengale
Why must you inspire my neighbor
To screech with his voice?

Wait---This just in---William put his lollipop in the refrigerator thinking it would turn into a popsicle---Does that redeem me?

29 May 2006

Watermelon deconstructed















Do you think William likes watermelon?

28 May 2006

Bring it on

I was made for this weather. I often feel chilled if the ambient temperature, indoors or out, is below 70 degrees. On days like today, I do feel warm but not uncomfortably so and would any day take being too warm over too cool. Given my own devices, I would not have the A/C on today, feeling it wouldn’t be worth the energy expenditure.

Bunch of stuff

Rejoice ye dead, where'er your spirits dwell,
Rejoice that yet on earth your fame is bright,
And that your names remembered day and night,
Live on the lips of those who love you well.
--Robert Bridges










We had our own little Memorial Day parade here. The Revolutionary War soldiers commandeered the Shark Patrol truck and trailer as their float.













Bloom of the day

And the thought of the day:
It's nice to know, that at age nine, you are not too old or too cool to want to snuggle with your dad and little brother in a big chair.

27 May 2006

H.R. Puffin-stuff

This is a "puffin habitat" after having been transported home in a backpack. In case you were wondering, puffins do not live in houses. The people that live near the puffins live in the house. These people also celebrate something called the "Night of the Puffins," when the puffins fly away. There used to be a tiny puffin glued to the tab in the center of the diorama. But apparently someone in Room 215 had puffin envy and tore it off Katherine's project, much to her consternation.

26 May 2006

What's this world coming to?

It's not even Memorial Day and already our summer has been dealt a crushing blow. Our favorite DQ has closed. It was a perfect half-mile stroll down the creek from our house. We're lucky enough to have another great ice cream shop within easy walking distance, but the summer just won't be the same without that DQ. It was as much about the lazy walk through the lush, green park in the dusky shadows of a tropical summer evening as it was the anticipation of the Peanut Buster Parfait or Mr. Misty. First preschool, now our DQ--what's next? The West Wing and Vanilla Coke?

25 May 2006

Apparel or cowboy of the Pampas?

I scored major Mom points when I finally broke down and bought Katherine the "gauchos" that she has been begging for since December. Apparently she was the last pre-teen girl on the planet not to own a pair of these pants. For those of you not up on the lastest trends in "fashion," I have included a photo below.

Technically these are "culottes," gauchos being South American cowboys. I won't bother pointing that out to Katherine.

Though I'm sure these pants are very comfortable, for some reason I find them unappealing. Maybe it's repressed memories of the fifth grade and my own pair of purple velour "gaucho pants." I even had a vest that matched.

Oh, to be five















This is from the after party yesterday.

24 May 2006

More tears

Oh my god! Did you see David Hasselhoff crying at the end of American Idol?!?
______

William chose dinner tonight so we all got to enjoy Playland McDonald's. Katherine says she wants to order in pizza for dinner on her last day of school. What is the matter with these kids? I'm glad they enjoy the simple things in life, but my friend's daughter picked Manny's for meeting her summer reading goal last year. I want some of that action.

Didn't even bother with mascara today

There were many tears at preschool this morning, most of them mine I believe.

Thank you Gretchen, Kinga, Heidi, Barb, Sandy, Kathy, Wendy, Ayn, Karla, Tina, Bethany, Winnie, and Kristie. I am forever grateful for the care and nurturing you gave to my little ones.

23 May 2006

...and not free

Today having been the penultimate day of preschool and my last day to run errands flying solo, I carefully went over my list of things to do--trying to determine which were the most important to complete. Garden center--doable with William. Tailor--less so. I wish I could still view summer break as through the eyes of a student, or as my brother and friends who are teachers do. While I truly do appreciate the flexiblilty and freedom that summer brings, I am definitely someone who needs some Mom Alone time. And that can be hard to come by in the summer. Only 54 days until day camp.

Can I wash its mouth out with soap?

Turns out Bachman's is the place to go if you want your kids to learn some colorful language. We were in the cut flower/gift area yesterday afternoon when Katherine nudged me and said, "There are some naughty words here." Sure enough, clearly visible at a distance of twenty feet were a couple of gag gift items with the words "bitch" and "ass" printed on them. There's sometimes a fine line between protecting innocence and the realities of the world, but I don't think I need my kids seeing that kind of crassness at the flower shop. And if that weren't enough, the customer next to us at the counter exclaimed "Sh**!" quite audibly several times upon hearing the total for her purchase. Nice.

Finally free

I first want to say that, since I know many people with serious foot problems, I feel quite lucky not to have any yet. However, I do have a serious hangup about showing my unpolshed toenails to the general public. A couple of my friends characterize this trait of mine--along with several others--as "high maintenance," which I think is their loving way of telling me I'm too vain. Anyway, since I let my toes go au naturel during the winter, I hadn't yet been able to wear open-toed shoes until today...










...when I finally found time to give myself a little pedicure. After all, it seems criminal not to wear sandals on an 80-degree day in May. So be free, toes, be free!


22 May 2006

Today's task:










Hastily sewing 21 patches onto a Brownie vest that will be worn tonight for the last time.

21 May 2006

Swampthing


Kudos to Katherine's best friend's dad for taking three pre-teen girls on an overnight at the new humongous waterpark. As unbearable as her excitement was leading up to the departure, so is the constant chatter upon arrival back home.

We had buffalo. Buffalo or buffalo wings? Buffalo wings. And there were these two tubes that kind of come together and you can go alone in them or with two. And we went to the arcade and I was supposed to get 70 points but I didn't get them but I spent most of my tokens on the claw where you get the prize. And I went to bed at midnight and was up at 6 something and when I woke up my hair smelled like chlorine. And I got an owie on my toe from the bumps on the stairs so you don't slip and...


20 May 2006

Be a Star, Part II

This isn't going to turn into the tanning ad blog, but I couldn't resist this one Paul passed on to me. I didn't realize the only thing preventing me from wearing a cowboy hat and a diamond bra was my winter pallor.


Friendly, Knowlegable Staff...
Clean, Sanitized Rooms...

Hmmm...

"Get Bronze for Prom:" back in the quaint 80's my dad bought me tanning sessions before my senior prom. I guess it's only by the grace of god that I didn't get led down the path to iniquity. Wink.

19 May 2006

Be a Star!

There are so many things I could say about this tanning salon ad. But I'll stick with just one or two observations.

Notice how it says, "Be a Star"? Exactly what kind of star? Porn star? And look, they'll even get you started for FREE!!

18 May 2006

The verdict is in

I am not ready for my little boy to grow up. I couldn't hold it together at preschool drop off and I really couldn't hold it together at pick up. I love watching William in his classroom. There is so much freedom, innocence, and wonder there. Next year he will have to constrain himself and conform to the expectations of kindergarten. Today I am feeling sad, almost heartbroken, that my little boy is going to have to grow up. Guilty as charged.

And from this morning--










Honey toast, deconstructed #4

17 May 2006

You're fired!

Iron Paul's pants & Katherine's skirt. Check!

Pepperoni for preschool pizza-making. Check!

Camera for 3rd grade music program. Check!

Lunch fixings for William's playdate. Check!

Brownies and rolls for preschool picnic. Check!

Make sure price tag is removed from new pants before wearing.


The part of my brain in charge of making sure I don't embarrass myself in public has been fired. Or it quit some time ago. I'm not sure.













I do love the color of these pants, though. They are orange. I had been eyeing them for some time and snatched them up when they went on sale. They don't fit me that well--I could be arrested for indecent exposure when I bend down. But that doesn't matter, I love the color.

I also LOVE this song and video that Mrs. Bickerson hipped me to. Now I know what I want played for the recessional at my funeral.

16 May 2006

A Story About My Mom

by William
May 2006

One time my mom and us went to the fair and we went on a log ride and then we went to a game. You had to get a hammer and get on this platform and go up a tower to make the bell ring. Then we won a prize. That was a fun time with my mom. The End

William, I don't remember the part about the tower and the prize.

Oh, I just made that part up.

Interesting.

I'm just glad he didn't end the story with "and then we came home to find our cat dead." Which is indeed what happened. As we got into the car to leave that morning, I was bawling (and trying to hide it from the kids) because I already knew how our day was going to end. You had a good run, Manolis.

15 May 2006

She Blinded Me With Science

Do you remember when you were in Junior High and your younger brother used his paper route money to buy a Vic20 and later a Commodore64? Yeah, me too. Those were good times, man! Programming rudimentary role playing games into the computer. Awesome! Have I revealed too much?

Remember the modem your dad had that he would plunk the telephone handset into? Or the job he gave you in High School, typing up punch cards so he could run his engineering software on them?

When I was in 7th grade a speaker came to talk to our class about the future. He told us that someone had invented a phone that you could use from the top of a mountain. At that point even cordless phones were unheard of so you could imagine how unbelieveable this sounded. He said that these phones would cost about 50 cents to make but they would be sold for a hundred dollars or more. Who was this guy and does he give advice about the stock market?

If only it gave massages...

Yes, my dirty little secret is that I have borderline high blood pressure. Most people wouldn't guess that, because I probably look to be a pretty healthy (codeword for not overweight, nonsmoking) person. When I turned 35 it was like someone flipped a switch and said, "You will no longer have blood pressure so low that you become dizzy when getting up from a reclining position and automated blood pressure machines have trouble finding your pulse. Instead you will now have anxiety about heart disease for the rest of your life." I am hoping that the science fair kid's machine was off because my readings are normally not that high. For now I'll try to lower my b.p. by enjoying things like...

my new phone. Someone asked how I like it and for me it's been great. I am easily infatuated with electronic gadgetry. However, I think the phone might be kind of bummed out. Little did this tricked-out phone know when it was born that it would spend its life on a bare bones calling plan. I'm even afraid to try texting for fear that I'll like it too much and send us into the poor house. The new phone is probably overkill for my lifestyle, but a girl can always aspire to greater(?) things, right?

14 May 2006

Just like Christmas morning

Happy Mother's Day everyone!

Good thing I'm an early riser. The kids were up at the crack of dawn, eager to give me the gifts they'd made at school as well as show me the classified ad they and Paul had put in the paper for me. I'd been tipped off to this by William a few days ago.

Mom, is today a newspaper day?

Yes, every day is a newspaper day.

Did Dad read you the newspaper yet?

Um, I don't think we should talk about the newspaper right now.

I feel blessed and lucky that I got to be your mom, K & W!

13 May 2006

Hand Jive

William has taken to using his middle finger as his pointing finger. I don't want to make a big deal out of it, but it is somewhat disconcerting.

and

There's nothing better than watching your two half-naked children before a bath doing the secret brother-sister handshake they invented.

P.S. I'm not in trouble for taking the Lord's name in vain. All the church wanted was for me to serve on a committee. Maybe I should tell them that the last two groups I joined at church either folded or are on life support.

12 May 2006

Parental Involvement

This was last year's Science Fair project.

This is this year's project.


Can you tell which year Mom was totally hands off?

As a bonus, my blood pressure was measured at 156/100 at one kid's booth.


11 May 2006

Yippee-ki-yi-ay


The sheriff's in town, dude!

During the summer, three of us gals and one husband would get together for Hot Topics while the kids were at day camp. Last night we had Hot Topics over raspberry margaritas (beer for Mr. Hot Topics--don't worry, I won't out you on my blog!). I thought the libations might take hot topics to sizzlin' topics. Instead we ended up talking about who our kids would live with if both parents died. Fun, huh?

And then I come home to find out that American Idol is a complete failure. Not that that's a shocker. Come on America, Chris?!?

Finally, there was a message on our machine today from the minister at our church saying he wants to chat with me about something. Yikes!

10 May 2006

Collage

Congratulations, Jan, on your little bundle of joy!

This is going to show how boring I am. Mrs. Bickerson wondered if I have a "sassy ringtone" for my new phone. Several come with my phone and I almost picked "Latin Loops," but worried that it might sound inappropriate in some situations. So I picked the "Standard" ringtone. Who am I kidding? I'm a stay-at-home-mom. When am I ever going to be in a situation where I could have an inappropriate ringtone? I have changed the ringtone to "Latin Loops." Maybe I'll even get fancy and download something. Any suggestions?

William has taken to using the collage as a form of artistic expression. This involves taking small objects and affixing them to a sheet of white paper with scotch tape.

Is it just me or is something very wrong with this restaurant sign I saw yesterday:

ATLANTIC BUFFET
Sushi & Mongolian

08 May 2006

Today's Candy

Having spent the night on the street in the rain, my phone ceased functioning. I loved that phone. It was little, it was cute, it was light blue. It was my Mother's Day present four years ago. I got over it. Instead I have been anxiously awaiting the arrival of this:


It is little, it is cute, it is pink. It is my Mother's Day present this year and it arrived today!!! Yum!

07 May 2006

Reek

When I was a teen, I couldn't imagine life after 40 being much fun (jury's still out) and used to say that when I turned the big 4-0 I was going to Africa to catch malaria and die. It became a little joke in the family and has recently resurfaced due to my approximation to middle age. This morning, however, I found out that our senior minister's college-age son has contracted malaria in Nairobi. Thankfully he's going to be o.k.

Vocab lesson #2. After spending a little time in the bathroom, Paul came out and told William, "It smells like a flower in there." William went in and replied, "It smells like a reek!" Paul and I had a good laugh about that one only to later find out that reek is indeed also a noun. Unbeknownst to him, William had the last laugh.

06 May 2006

Schadenfreude

We went to the Twins-Tigers game tonight as part of a group from Katherine's school. It came down to the wire, but the Twins managed to eke it out in the ninth. Much better than I was expecting considering their dismal showing in Detroit last weekend. I attempted to score the game and think I totally screwed it up, but had fun trying.

This was taken before 9-year-old ennui set in during the 7th inning.

Despite the win, the highlight of the game was watching an older gentleman trying to find his way back to his seat. He stopped at the end of our row whereupon a woman asked if he was sitting in section 227. His reply, "I'm with Mike Walstrom." O.K., sir. Not much help. As we watched him wander up and down various aisles, a cup of cola in each hand, we enjoyed a little mirth at his misfortune, which brings us to the vocabulary lesson of the day. Schadenfreude (Shahd-en-froid-eh): enjoyment obtained from others' troubles. Eventually, someone from his section--not his hapless friend, mind you--noticed him and guided him safely home. Alright, now I feel bad.

05 May 2006

Can I Go Home Now?

Embarrassing moment #1: Could someone at the funeral have told me that I had a bandaid stuck to the back of my shoe?!? Yes, that means you.

Embarrassing moment #2: Confusing someone I've partied with the last 3 Fourth of July's for my gynecologist. Yeah, pretty cool.

Embarrassing moment #3: Something involving a men's room. Let's leave it at that.

04 May 2006

F-F-FizzyL-Lizzy

I have recently become a fan of coffee thanks to the wonders of French Vanilla Coffemate/International Delight (take your pick). A big shout out to my friend Amy for turning me on to flavored coffee creamers! I just needed my coffee to taste like candy. Who knew? I certainly needed two big travel mugs to get me through a very happenin' day which included--get out the hankies--Kindergarten Registration. Am I ready? Yes and no. On the one hand, William is the "good citizen" of his preschool class. Not the good citizen of the FizzyLizzy household. On the other, how can I ever be ready to give up "William and Mommy" days. Time marches on.

03 May 2006

Are You There God? It's Me, Margaret

Last night was the final installment of “Just Between Us: Mothers and Daughters Explore Change.” This was a class Katherine and I took with our Brownie Troop designed to strengthen mother-daughter relationships and educate girls about puberty. Katherine’s favorite part of the class was getting to practice inserting a tampon into the mannequin. My favorite part was hearing some of the things they’re excited about doing when they get older: inventing robots, riding horses, buying stuff, rearranging their room, etc. Stay that way a little longer, girls.

02 May 2006

Beyond comprehension

Close friends of ours have just lost their third parent in 18 months, the last two coming only 5 weeks apart. No words seem to suffice. I just want to wrap them up in our arms to protect them from all harm and sadness.


"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover."
-- Mark Twain

01 May 2006

Unmentionables

After reading Mrs. Bickerson's blog, I am wondering what I missed by not staying Saturday night! I'm always up for talking about underwear. I once participated in a marketing research focus group about bras and found out that I have an unusually large number of them. I got $60 for talking about bras for 2 hours. I did not go out and buy more bras.

It's been a grey, wet day. I think it's a good night for grilled cheese sandwiches and tomato soup.

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